Tortas El Tortugo: Taco Refuge in Suburbia
Here’s a guest post from taco champ Jeff Timpanaro, who has possibly found the ugliest taco stand of all time. Humble, TX. – GunsandTacos
Just as I was just about to open my pie hole – again – to bitch about the lack of taco trucks in my community, up pops Tortas El Tortugo, less than one mile from my house. It has likely been there for years, but in my trafficky haste I’ve just never noticed it.
So I guess it didn’t “pop up” as much as it entered my awareness. Happy day.
This morning it was time to make my first visit. After all, I’d just completed some lab work which required a morning fast. As those who know and love me will attest, the only thing I hate worse than missing breakfast is being trapped in the shower when Aerosmith comes on the radio. Furthermore, I had the sobering experience of seeing “Kidney Transplant Status” as being one of the things my kidney doc was testing for.
If anyone deserved tacos this morning, it was me.
Since food fixes everything, I steered the Honda Odyssey toward El Tortugo. It’s a boxy white trailer that rests innocuously at the Phillips 66 station in Atascocita (Humble), at the corner of FM 1960 and Pinehurst Tr. I was greeted by the signage: “Coma feliz, tortas de su pais!” which translates loosely as “Gringo, you wouldn’t know a good taco if it sliced open your aorta, so just mosey your happy ass over to Taco Bell and get your #3 combo.”
We’ve been telling you people. Stop eating subpar tacos. I will grant you there’s a time and place for the Mission Burritos of the world. But if you like your food impossibly hot, fresh, and authentic (while keeping you full for under $5.00) then you must begin to frequent your local taco trucks more.
Even though El Tortugo does not make homemade corn tortillas, the breakfast tacos were above satisfactory. I order one with huevos y jamon (eggs & ham), one with huevos y papas (eggs & spuds), and another with huevos y salchicha (basically an egg & sausage / hot dog concoction). It came with two sides of salsa, one green and one red. Both were non-descript compared to other salsas I’ve had, but provided a great heat on a chilly morning.
Um, yes, that’ll be $3.00.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been hearing the term “embarrassment of riches” a lot lately. We have it here. We non-Latinos should celebrate (not scratch our heads over) the fact that the majority in Houston are Latinos! Not that this is their singular contribution, but where else can you get grub this good for $3.00?
Now. Whether or not a taco habit supports renal health is another issue. We can chat about that over a Tecate with a Patron back and, hell, even a salt lick.
In the meantime, El Tortugo is now ON THE MAP, should you be in the Humble / Atascocita area. Stop by and enjoy the grub.
-Jeff Timpanaro