To optimize your taco-eating experience, I thought I’d relay a few tips that might prove helpful. Some are pretty basic, so bear with me.
1. Always bring cash. Preferably small bills.
2. If you’re not a fluent Spanish speaker, try English first. Most taco truck attendants have remarkable psychic abilities and can interpret your hungry non-Mexican gestures and awkward, ugly English quite well. Also, if you start using Spanish, they might think think you are fluent and respond in really fast Spanish.
3. Do not allow them to put lettuce and/or tomatoes on your taco. If this happens, write “CILANTRO Y CEBOLLAS” across the side of the taco truck with the nearby red salsa squirt bottle.
Here are a few key words that should help you get by at any taco stand:
Para Aqui (Parah Key) “For here”
Para Llevar (Parah Yeh Vahr) “To go”
Cuantas? (Quant-Toss) – How much? Note: There’s no need to understand their response. Just pretend like you understood, give them a ten and let them do the math.
Cual es tu especialidades? – “What’s your specialty”?
Note: The word “Caliente” is often misunderstood as meaning, “spicy”. “Picoso” is the correct word for spicy. Caliente means hot, as in “your mom is hot”.
On Friday, Houston Twitter user @aynsavoy dropped a simple suggestion:
“@GunsandTacos – Are you going to lead a taco truck crawl any time in the near future? Because I would totally be down.”
She may have been referencing last year’s Houston Chowhound event, where a large group of taco fanatics took a tour of several taco trucks on Long Point in a large caravan involving lawnchairs and beer. The Houston Chowhounds are a 500+ group of Houston foodies that schedule all kinds of food-related events.
Before I could reply (much), dozens of Twitter responses, emails and comments on my latest post on 29-95.com were thrown around. Houston food celebrity Jenny Wang (@imneverfull), prominent foodie blogger, founder of the Houston ChowHounds and recent radio personality on 1560’s new Southbound Food show thought it was a great idea as well, which pretty much sealed the deal.
30 people formally requested to sign up for updates to the taco crawl on the first day. Jenny formally assigned a hashtag of #TCC2 to reference the event. After some discussion, the event date was set for October 25th, 2009, which is on a Sunday (requested by Textile’s award-winning dessert chef Plinio Sandalio).
So how do I lead this expedition, following in the footsteps of the first Houston Taco Truck Crawl? The taco trucks chosen for the first epic adventure were loosely based on Robb Walsh’s Top Ten Taco Trucks list, diligently composed in 2007. There’s no telling how much blood, sweat and salsa went into composing that list, which I’ve referenced once or twice in previous posts.
My Houston area taco truck favorites span far and wide. It’s going to be tough choosing a few favorites and navigating a chosen path, a yellow adobe road of tacos- but hell, that’s what I do. If you’d like to participate in the event, you can sign up here or just email me and I’ll keep you updated on the details.
Click your heels together, folks. We’re going for a ride.
Unless you’re from Yugoslavia or Dallas, or currently playing Second Life in your mom’s basement, you probably know about Airline Road. This place has all of the best elements of Mexico. Panaderias, refresquerias, carnicerias, ostionerias, and taco trucks. Looking for a giant tres leches cake? A pinata? A michelada or bounty hunter?
You’ve come to the right place, cabron.
Night chicken disco.
Though there are usually several taco trucks in the area, I arrived at the El Regio truck late in the day, after most of the daytime stands had driven off to count their dollars and watch cockfights or something. So it’s time for some chicken.
Pollos Asados El Regio always seems to be there. A massive yellow/orange trailer with gleaming stainless and neon lights, with a giant cartoon chicken (of course) plastered on the exterior, the El Regio truck is both a graphic designer’s nightmare and a chicken lover’s dream, visually overshadowing any nearby taco trucks in its realm.
I stepped out of the giant car, crushing a small scorpion with my boot heel and ensuring that my windows were down so that everyone in the area could hear “As the Levee Breaks” blasting through the speakers as I made my entrance into the chicken stand parking lot.
I reviewed their extensive menu, which consisted of these items: A whole chicken and a half chicken. Now I prefer dark meat, but I’m not going to tell him that because my Spanish is terrible, and last time I did that I was forced to do some kind of pantomime. I didn’t want to do the air guitar thing with my leg again, so I just ordered a half chicken.
So listen. You can go to nice restaurants all day long without finding chicken that is genuinely slow-smoked. I don’t know how they get away with this. I mean, eating baked chicken is like sitting through a horror movie with no frontal nudity.
Pollos Asados El Regio really smokes this stuff, and they smoke it well- all the way through. Remember your buddy’s barbecue a couple of years ago, where you were really hungry but it took four hours for the chicken to be ready, and by the time it was ready you were too drunk to eat? It’s kind of like that chicken, except you get to eat it instead of just savoring that smell while you told jokes you couldn’t remember the punch lines to and hit on that guy’s daughter while he was right there.You remember.
The red achiote-rubbed, pleasantly blackened chicken is served with a liberal quantity of grilled whole onions, Mexican rice, fresh lime slices, corn tortillas, creamy jalapeno salsa and borracho beans. I’m not sure if that’s what they call these beans, because it was more of a stew; complete with beans, chunks of beef and gristle, carrots, and a fatty chicken broth. Once I tried it, I wanted to buy a gallon of it.
This chicken was outstanding, and in my opinion could go toe-to-toe with any four-star restaurant in town. I wanted to eat the bones.
Dinner of Campiones.
I’m not big on rice- it’s one of the few things I occasionally leave on my plate. But real Mexican rice is amazing stuff, and I don’t use the term lightly. Cooked perfectly with chicken broth, it was a staple to be reckoned with. Obviously, I made chicken tacos with the rice, onions and chicken, and dipped it in the soup like real caballeros instinctively do. The creamy green salsa was great as well, but wasn’t as spicy as I’d hoped. I was out of bear mace, so I dumped some Blaire’s After Death sauce on it for added taste bud masochism.
What a meal, and for an easy five bucks, I could spare some dinero to wash it down with a giant can of Tecate. That’s what Cente would probably do.
My coworker Pablo took the bus to work this morning. An engine belt broke, and he had to pick up the belt at an auto parts store.
“Where do you live, Pablo?”
“North Gessner.”
“That place where all the tacos are?”
“Yep.”
“Need a ride home?”
North Gessner, in the Spring Branch area, is a taco lover’s paradise. The streets are strewn with taco stands and taquerias. I knew the auto parts store might close, but hey, I’m shopping for tacos here.
If you're advertising the best tacos in town, you'd better deliver!
I saw the Jarro Cafe taco truck on the left, and hit my brakes in the middle of North Gessner. I had seen that logo before, remembering Robb Walsh’s Top Ten Taco Trucks list from 1995. This one was on the top of the list. It’s also been featured on Addie Broyle’s food blog, and was one of the historic Austin Meets Houston Taco Tour stops.
As a matter of principle, I like to stop at the lesser known taco stands, the places that might have a unique taco meat selection and regional salsas. But I’m not missing the “number one” taco stand. I can’t just drive past it.
As you can see, the sign clearly states “The Best Tacos in Town”. Hearing the cars crash behind me as I u-turned my boat-car, I noticed that the other side of the sign read “The Best Salsas in Town”. I pulled up and jogged to the taco stand as if I was carrying a styrofoam cooler containing a heart transplant.
Oddly enough, the stand is in front of an actual restaurant of the same name. Others may not understand my logic, but why go inside a restaurant when there’s a taco truck right here?
This taco trailer was in tip-top shape, with polished stainless everywhere. These people knew exactly what they were doing.And then I saw the menu. Every taco meat I’d ever heard of was on the list, in Spanish and English. Shazzam!
Even suadero tacos. And suadero, my friends, is something you want to sink your teeth into.
Their tacos were priced at $1.50 each, and there was a five dollar special that advertised three tacos and a drink. Although I had a feeling their fajita tacos would be top-notch, I decided to go with some of the more unusual fare.
Cochinita Pibil, Campechano, and Suadero.
Campechano: Chorizo and beef. That’s right, in the same taco. Jarro Cafe claims this is their specialty.
Cochinita Pibil: Yucatan-style pulled pork.
Suadero: An excellent type of beef, a cut, texture, and flavor that is perfect for tacos.
These tacos were served with lime, grilled onions, cilantro, and radishes. The radishes were a great touch, and reminded me of the Tijuana taco stands that served whole radishes with every taco order.
I tried the campechano first. I thought the beef and sausage combo was unusual, and I was right. It was unusually awesome. This was grade-A chorizo, and the two textures were perfect together. I generously applied the bright-orange salsa from a nearby plastic container. It accented these meats perfectly.
Then I tried the cochinita pibil. It had a texture similar to canned sloppy joe mix, for lack of a better description. It had an interesting smoky and tangy flavor, with an obvious influence of dried peppers. I could tell you more, but I pretty much scarfed it down in order to get to the prize taco. It was good, but the lesser of the three. Hey, there’s gotta be one, right?
I applied lime generously to the champion suadero.
“Best salsas in town?” I thought to myself.
“Let’s see what they’ve got”.
I asked the lovely taco lady if she had anything hotter. She smiled and pulled another container from ice, which contained neon green salsa. This salsa would literally glow beneath a black light, if given the chance. I giggled like a little girl as I dumped this stuff all over my suadero taco.
It tasted magnificent. It was absolutely spectacular. And it was really hot. I mean, the orange stuff was hot by most non-Texan standards, but this neon-green wondersauce was the stuff of legends. It was nuclear.
I handed the bottle to Pablo, but he had already killed his three tacos.
“Pablo, please get another taco so you can try this stuff”.
As I mentioned in a previous post, Vicente Fernandez is a star of epic proportions in Mexico.
If you’ve ever lost a woman to another man, or if someone has ever run over your dog, you may be able to relate to the sorrowful music of Vicente Fernandez.
While North Americans strive for individuality by listening to the same rebellious pop bands that commercials and sitcoms force them to listen to, Mexicans stick together no matter what.
Remember when Selena was killed? Millions of people were distraught in solidarity. People wept in the streets. Jennifer Lopez was catapulted into celebrity by playing her in a movie. Former Texas governor George W. declared April 16th as “Selena Day”. This was 1995.
I saw a Selena sticker on a truck just last week on the 610 loop, in 2009. And remember this:
Selena was from Texas, not Mexico.
Back to Vicente Fernandez.
Now- Jalisco, Mexico is to tacos what Hollywood, California is to celebrities.
Vicente Fernandez was born there.
Without getting into his life story, you’ve got to understand that this guy is Numero Uno in Mexico, and always has been. When he kicks off, you’ll probably see some kind of civil war. He could run for president and easily win- he’s more popular than all of the Mexican Presidents put together. He’s acted in 40 or so movies, and he could kick Elvis’ ass in a knifefight. I promise.
Anyhow, I’d like to share this music video of Vicente Fernandez with you. Although “Cente” (pronounced “Chen-tay”) is normally seen in a sombrero, this amazing video shows the man without a hat in his most vulnerable state, i.e, after he just lost a woman.
Before you click the play button, think “minimalism”. Forget all the fancy video effects. We’re talking about a man, drinking in a bar, and there is a horse in the bar.
Again, there is a horse in the bar. There is no dancing.
This is perhaps the manliest music video of all time.
Every once in a while in Texas, someone comes across an odd looking dog, shoots it, calls it a Chupacabra and gets famous for a few days. The most recent story comes from Blanco, Texas, and was posted on the front page of CNN.
I’m no taxonomist, but when I saw the picture, I knew exactly what it was. A Mexican Hairless, also known as a Xoloitzcuintli. A fitting name, because if you were to look at this disgusting hellion of a creature, that’s exactly what you’d name it. A friggin’ Xoloitzcuintli.
Why don't they feature caricatures of me in Disney Movies? Why?
These things have been running stray in Mexico since Aztecs were chopping off human heads in record numbers to satisfy the Sun God. That being said, it’s not too far off to call these things chupacabras, because if I saw one of these things sucking the life out of one of my goats, I think I’d just chalk it up as a supernatural creature, and blow up my goat with a guided missile of some sort.
I saw one at a horse ranch in Cozumel a few years ago. Some of the other tourists fed it their leftover tacos to my dismay, and one of them ACTUALLY LET THAT THING LICK HER FACE. I would pay good money for video footage of that, because I still don’t believe it myself.
If you reviewed that linked article I mentioned earlier, you can see LA folks dogging on us Texans for being dumb enough to believe in chupacabras in the comments section.
Which is fine with me, because they’re dumb enough to live in California where you can’t buy any guns to defend yourself against chupacabras, genius.
Anyhow, I thought I’d set up a little hoax of my own.
Blanco, TX is pretty close to San Antonio, so I went to Craigslist.com in San Antonio and posted a missing Mexican Hairless dog in Blanco just to see what became of it. I used this picture of a slightly more respectable-looking Xoloitzcuintli:
Yes, people own these as pets. People with allergies.
The first 2 responses were some kind of automated posts from “dog finders”, which are people that apparently have some kind of job finding lost dogs. Doesn’t sound very profitable. One of them was funny, but way too long to post. Here are some of the others:
“Hi I saw your ad on craiglist. Thier is a taxidermist in blanco that says he has chapurada. But it really looks like your dog. the story is ksat channel 12. Im not sure but maybe you should check it out. Hope this helps” – Casey & Penelope
What is chapurada, some kind of skin disorder?
“I know you might think I’m kidding, but a couple of days ago it was all over the news that the chupacabras was found dead in blanco, tx. The sad part is that the animal they showed looks just like your dog. Look it up on CNN.com I wish I was joking, but I’m really serious. http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/laf/1356613673.html
Dave
Did you catch that? He sent me a link to my own post. Thanks Dave!
Werid is the right word in this context, Simone. Thank you.
This person preferred to give me the horrible news over the phone:
if you have not located your dog please call me. Gloria 555-555-5555 The information may not be helpful but I do pray for your peace of mind. God bless
This one wasn’t entirely convinced, but still had the good nature to coldly inform me of my pet’s early demise at the hands of a taxidermy student:
is this a hoax?
anyhow there was a yahoo report yesterday about a chupacabra found in blanco, tx. pretty much looked just like that dog u posted a pic of. is dead and located at a taxidermy in blanco. do a yahoo search.
I hope these posts bring you as much guilty entertainment as they did for me. I’ll leave you with a photo of a taco truck with a chupacabra on it. Check back for updates on this post as more responses become available.
This is probably the coolest picture that has ever been taken in history.
Since the section of Irvington with all the tacos apparently can’t be found intentionally, I had to purposely get lost in the area in order to find it. I didn’t have a taco stand in mind, but the idea was to find a whole block of taco joints and just pick one particular truck.
Since I hate getting lost, I got a friend of mine to pick me up in his car so he could deal with the frustration of getting lost instead, while I pretended to navigate.
I came across a small stand called Taqueria el Taconazo. Wow! I mean, most taco trucks call themselves Taqueria de “Some place in Mexico?”, but somebody had the eggs to call their stand Taqueria el Taconazo.
"And I shall call it, TAQUERIA TACONAZO. "
That’s like, Tacos from the Land of All Tacos or something.
There was another taco truck directly across the street that had 99 cent tacos. I would have gone there instead but admittedly, I was intrigued by the Taconazo name.
There was something really intriguing about this stand- it had a picture on the front that stated, “Tacos de Trompo”, with a familiar photograph of the method al pastor was served in my old Tijuana running grounds. I recalled this Houston Press article I read in 2006 by Robb Walsh all about tacos de trompo, where he explains the cooking method.
Tacos de Trompo. Only found in Mexico.
“Trompo is the Spanish word for the child’s toy we call a top. In the parlance of taquerias, a trompo is a stout metal skewer loaded up with strips of marinated pork cut in a rounded shape. The meat is narrow at the bottom and gets thicker higher up, forming the shape of a top. When the trompo revolves on a vertical roaster, the pork is cooked on the outside edges. When you order a taco, the cooked meat is shaved off, then grilled until it’s crispy. It’s then used to make tacos al pastor (a.k.a. tacos de trompo) and other treats. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” –Robb Walsh
In this article, he also explains why “tacos de trompo” has been deemed illegal by the Health Department. So even though the tacos al pastor may not be carved from this magnificent meat display, the picture on the front of the taco stand says it sure as hell does.
It’s kind of like a jewelry store having a poster on the window that says, “We Now Carry Blood Diamonds”. You know blood diamonds are probably bad, but you secretly want one or two, although you generally don’t really like diamonds anyway.
That was a really bad analogy. Anyhow, the real reason tacos de trompo are not allowed by the health department is, the health department’s objective is to shut down taco trucks. This is nothing new.
My amigo ordered tortas. “This is a taco stand, what are you thinking?” I asked.
“I’m a real Mexican, so I can order whatever I want”, he explained logically.
I ordered two brisket tacos (“bisteka”), two tacos al pastor, and two fajita tacos. Since I’m currently a Level 2 tacomaster, I went ahead and ordered a lime Jarrito soda while everyone around stared in awe at my sound judgment and impeccable taste.
I keep coming across the same type of red salsa in this part of town. It has an oil base and a smoky taste. It’s good, but it’s not particularly spicy. I like the smoky flavor, but the taste can be overbearing if you really overload your taco with it.
The green salsa was disappointing, and didn’t have much bite to it at all, which in my opinion is the whole point of using the green stuff.
The al pastor was good, but not great. It was heavy on the paprika as expected, and had a savory flavor that went well with the smoky red salsa.
The fajita was the best of the three, and I loved it. Norteamericanos in general tend to put a big emphasis on tender meat, but when it comes to tacos, I like the chewy, gristly stuff that puts hair on your chest, peckerwood.
The torta was another story. Although I didn’t order one myself, my buddy’s torta was PACKED with meat, and looked absolutely amazing. Next time, I’ll be getting the fajita torta.
A preview of the Level 3 Tacomaster beverage: Jarritos Tamarindo.
Folks, I’d like to introduce GunsandTaco.com’s first guest post, written by Jeff Timpanaro. Enjoy!
TWITTER, DROOL, AND YOU
One peril of following someone on Twitter named @GunsAndTacos is that you’re seeing the word “Tacos” about 18 times per day.
It’s easy to understand how seeing the word Tacos in blue, bold font motivates a person to – well – eat more tacos.(I hope psychopaths don’t have the same phenomenon with the ‘Guns’ part.)
But if you click through and read @GunsAndTacos’ blog, which tends to describe “luscious tacos on homemade corn tortillas stacked with barbacoa, cilantro, and onions, with a handful of limes on the side” – well, you might as well not grocery shop anymore. Lunch is – waistline be damned – around the corner at the taco stand.
TACOS FLORES
4808 FM 1960 E.
Humble, TX 77338
Having driven by Tacos Flores in Humble for 7 years and never stopped, I figured it was time to give it a shot. I’m so glad I did.
I don’t know the entire story, but Tacos Flores began like many other taco stands out there: as a trailer with a canopy. But about four years ago, every time I would drive by, I would see new developments being added to the property. Outdoor seating, patio, more umbrellas, a parking lot, more cars, bigger signage, etc.
I don’t know if this was a conscious effort by the owners to attract more (or different) clientele. I remember in its early years, you’d really just see landscaping crews and Mexicanos – lots of them – milling around the lot, ordering taco baskets from a walk-up window. That should have been my clue that the food was good, right? I just never made it in.
But now that the inside and outside decor has been <sigh> “white-ified,” the yuppies, suburban families, college students, and suits in the area are really discovering it. Guess I’m guilty by association, but that’s o.k. It’s been a great discovery.
My first impression walking in was that it was clean, friendly, and that they were serious about preparing fresh food. My dining companions – my mom and two of my sons (both toddlers) sat down while I ordered.
I spoke Spanish to the lady at the counter, who obliged me by speaking Spanish also. I explained it was my first visit, and she seemed genuinely thankful that we finally stopped in.
I ended up with three barbacoa tacos, rice and refried beans on the side. I got mom three ground beef tacos, which might have been a mistake in retrospect. I’m not brave enough to eat lengua; the beef was a safe bet anyway since I planned a taco swap with mom.
I wish I hadn’t, because I had to give up one of my barbacoa tacos – one of the best I’d ever had. I was happy to discover that the tortillas de maiz (corn) were homemade, and you could taste the difference immediately. With ample cilantro, fresh onions on top and two big lime wedges on the side, I was a happy camper. Snarf.
A great add-on was the authentic Mexican Coke in the glass bottle. I think I may have shown my gringo colors when I poured it over ice, but that’s just force of habit. It was dee-lish.
The kids – never an afterthought when deciding where to eat – left happy. They split a gigantic hamburger with fries, which was nothing to write home about but they don’t care much as long as the tank is getting filled and there’s plenty of ketchup.
I think we got out of there for $21.00 or so, which was slightly higher than I’d anticipated. But I can’t fathom what the same amount of food might have cost at Pappasito’s.
So if you’re ever heading east on FM 1960 in Humble, visit Tacos Flores for some great comida. And since my BlackBerry didn’t take any food pictures worth a damn, you’ll just have to take my word for it.
My friend Randy Taguchi, an author from Kanagawa, Japan, told me she was heading to Okinawa to get some tacos. Ludicrous, I thought. There are no tacos in Japan. Something is amiss.
Another friend of mine explained that Randy probably meant “tako”, the Japanese word for octopus. This made sense, maybe I had misunderstood.
However, Randy specifically told me she was going to Okinawa for tacos. And since she was headed to Okinawa, which is essentially the same as Americans heading to Hawaii, I suspected she wasn’t doing it just for a bunch of octopi.
Octopus in Japan is like, I dunno, ham in Delaware.
Then she sent me the photo on the left. I can’t tell if they’re crispy or soft tacos, but they are, in fact, tacos. Here are some more photos of Randy’s trip to Okinawa.
As happy as I was to see the heavenly glory of tacos spreading throughout the world, I was a bit disappointed that the bastardized American version of tacos ended up overseas, instead of the real thing. And something tells me that these were really expensive, when real tacos should only cost one dollar.
From what I understand, the influence of tacos came from the US Marines that were stationed in Okinawa back in the day. A local Okinawan chef realized the popularity of tacos with the soldiers, and created a dish called ‘taco rice’.
Taco rice is ground beef, seasoned with chili powder (sort of like 4-alarm Chili mixes), and served over a bed of rice with lettuce and cucumber. This dish is now so popular in Japan that it is served as a school lunch, and KFC has adapted it into their Japanese menus.
Here’s a Marine recipe for taco rice, and if you look at the comments you’ll see several guys that are sappy about this Okinawan cuisine. Someone decided it was a good idea to stuff the food into a tortilla, and at that point, the Taco went full circle and reinvented itself.
I had an in-depth conversation with Japan, as a whole, about their choice to use Casa Ole tacos instead of real tacos.I’m the guy in the video that resembles Bruce Lee, and the other guy is Japan.
Yes, I understand that Bruce Lee has nothing to do with Japan, but I thought it was fitting.
Thanks to Randy Taguchi for sharing the pictures!
Japanese taco machine. Photo courtesy of www.peterpayne.net
"Taco stands probably have germs. Let's go to Casa Ole."
Next time you visit a Mexican Restaurant, skim through the menu, and look for these two key words.
“Soft” and/or “Crispy”
If you see these words, politely leave. If you’re a polite person, that is.
This may seem extreme, but please realize that this means that everything on this menu is going to consist of these ingredients, and nothing else:
Ground Beef
Lettuce
Tomatoes
Refried Beans
Rice
Cheese
Fried chips
Pickled jalapenos
Please look at these ingredients, and think of all the restaurants that serve absolutely nothing but different combinations of these ingredients, aside from pseudo-margaritas made with Jose Cuervo and “sweet and sour mix” that will burn a hole in your stomach lining. Don’t get me started on Señor Cuervo.
I’d cite examples, but shit, you know what I mean. Each of these ingredients are dirt cheap, and since this has been the standard for “Mexican” restaurants for about twenty years, it is your duty as a consumer to stop eating there.
Keep making these people rich, and they’ll keep shutting down taco stands by shoveling the same boring ingredients down your gullet.
1. Always bring cash. Preferably small bills.
